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| Friday, February 09, 2007 |
| Moving (again) |
I have decided to move again to another blog... for the sole reason that i wanted a new title... go figure...well i'm keepin this too but i don't think I'll be updating it. so just click on the link below :)
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posted by Rax @ 02:26 |
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| Saturday, January 27, 2007 |
| Mathematics |
What is distance, but a bunch of numbers
that define the space between us.
As if one could calculate
the probabilities that you, ever restless,
would climb your bed and stay still,
long enough for me
to slip beneath you
and raise my chin
to sigh on your shoulder.
As if one could measure
the angles we create when
you reach around me and
lift me up toward you,
drawing arcs with my spine when
I tuck my belly into your torso and
hook my ankles to the back of your knees.
As if one could solve
the sum of our hearts'
incongruent tempo when
I press my body so close
to fuse our breathing and
delude our ears into thinking
we shared a heart.
As if one could plot
the intersection points
whenever we kiss,
fingers interlacing at
the end of outstretched arms,
every muscle knowing its match
with perfect balance and precision.
After all, What is distance,
but a bunch of numbers
that don't exist. |
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posted by Rax @ 20:31 |
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| Wednesday, January 24, 2007 |
| You can write |
I am a storybook,
the tales long ago
etched by quills of blade
and blood ink on
skin parchment.
You were reading me--
setting me on your lap,
opening me and gingerly
tracing the word-scars
with your fingertip.
Like the others,
I offered you a blank page
and an iridium nibbed plume,
enclosing it in your palm as
I spread myself on the table.
You lifted me and carried me
back to the filled-up pages,
flipping the quill over
and started erasing scars
with the feather tip.
I am still a storybook,
bound with human vellum--
but this time rewritten
by your hands, lips and tongue
dipped in soul-ink. |
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posted by Rax @ 16:36 |
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| Sunday, January 07, 2007 |
| To reach the sun |
while waiting for the sun,
our silhouettes danced
in moonlit corners--
We stepped
toward each other,
by walking from one's dream
to the other's,
each leaving imprints
of laughter on
the other's soul.
And when chasing the sun,
our silhouettes soared
in mirrored skies---
We reached
toward the other,
by fingertips
almost touching...
through the glass. |
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posted by Rax @ 15:54 |
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| Thursday, January 04, 2007 |
| Pig Lucky Charm |
My best friends A and S called me up just before new years and informed me that 2007 was going to be the year of the pig. Fondly called "piglet' by them, I told them that it was gonna be my year since I was after all, not only a 'piglet' but was born in 1983, also the year of the pig. OINK! hehehe. A quipped: You're a walking lucky charm! (or unlucky) hehehe.
So, friends, if u need luck or something of the sort, I'm your errr... PIG! hehehe. Anyway the forecast for me is kinda disturbing too. I hate change. But here it says I'm definitely in for a rollercoaster ride:
Pigs would feel restless i n the Year of Pig / Boar 2007.
1. You would encounter many changes, in terms of the luck of wealth, career and relationships. (Well 2006 was really bad for me. My apartment was robbed thrice and I was sick for more than half of the year... This change in luck better be good.)
2. The Pigs are likely to move home or office, travel, and experience other changes.
(Funny, I've been looking for an apartment for months now. I haven't yet. Please, please let me find one with a covered garage hehehe)
3. In fact, the more changes the Pigs go through, the lesser the negative impact there is to their emotions. Thus, it is a great year of the Pigs to get married, conceive a baby, switch jobs, or immigrate to another country. (Err.... not so keen on these)
In case the Pigs don’t have any such plans, Pigs should still travel more often or learn something unrelated to your job in the Year of Pig. That would ease emotional problems of the Pigs. (I'm emotional? hehehe yeah. Travel? Yeah definitely right after the bar! Whoopeee)
4.The Pigs are likely to encounter changes in romantic relationship this new year and are prone to injury or surgical operation. (Err... I'm gonna be no longer sick but injured??? No thanks)
In terms of love relationship, you might start dating someone new or break up with your existing lover. Getting married is also a change in relationship. (*rolls eyes*)
5. The Pigs tend to think pessimistically and might even start imagining the worst case scenario-what if I lose my job? (What if I flunk the bar?) The only way to deal with such emotional problems is to leave and take a break. Go somewhere abroad for vacation this year. Your restlessness would heap up to new height in Lunar date October 2007 (i.e. 8 November to 7 December 2007), when you should absolutely go travel. Just a short trip of few days. (This is freaky coz September is the bar and i'm definitely gonna have lots of emotional problems there. Nothing I can escape. But yeah, after that, I'm outta here!!!)
6. In the Year of Pig /Boar 2007, all Pigs seem to have signed up the kamikaze and are ready to do anything anytime. The Pigs are likely to overlook or address their limits or weakness. They might misjudge the situations and get their hands in something they are not familiar with. Of course, they would end up in trouble. (HAHAHAHA this is me all the time! Not just 2007)
7. In your Chinese horoscope constellation this year, there are the lucky stars Jie Shen and Tian Jie. They generally would come to your help when you are in trouble. Yet, also because of their presence, most Pigs are prone to disasters and troubles, which can be created by yourself or others. (ARGH)
8. It is hard for the Pigs to achieve on their own this year. So, take advantage of your astrology force. People are willing to help you in Year 2007. Always ask for help at the crucial moments. Especially when you are facing keen competitions, you need those extra hands to make things work. (I'll keep that in mind)
I am doomed. Wish me luck people. The rollercoaster ride is about to begin. |
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posted by Rax @ 19:04 |
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| Thursday, August 04, 2005 |
| Q&A |
...for the one treading the railroad tracks with me, it seems parallel lines do meet, if we just walk long enough.
You sat with me
under the sky-clad heaven
and I asked
if stars can be reincarnated You laughed at my curiosity
and we blamed the world
for not knowing the answer:
I laughed and
found you
laughing with me.
I longed
to sit beside you behind the moon and find out how long its shadow is
a little longer,
in some places , perhaps.
But I know we could do without such questions.
I think I've had
a little too much
to drink.
And now stripped of certainty, I am a child again who grew up to fast
finding myself dizzy,
with slurred heart-confessions:
I laughed and
found you
laughing with me.
Behind the smoke
you exhaled and
the soul I inhaled,
we kissed,
tracing the beginning of each contact and I wonder whether my lips meant something more.
You wake me
from dreams
of chasing equal signs making me realize that reality is of two wholes in a plane of acceptance.
My heart beats fast
to find yours
in the same incongruent sync:
I laughed and
found you
laughing with me.
I search with lips,
with tongue for
answers that might be
found under a blanket of skin,
on a bed of grass,
in a perfect equation.
Morning streaks through the leaves
delivering a new-born star
making darkness irrelevant because after all,
I laughed
and
found
You. |
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posted by Rax @ 23:01 |
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| Saturday, June 25, 2005 |
| Leavened Bread |
She would churn the smiles
in a wooden bucket,
stirring constantly the memories
while sprinkling arguments
at sordid intervals
to bring out regret-flavored tears.
She would knead the frustration
into elastic patience,
quietly stretching back and forth
to the point of almost breaking
into halves of forgiveness.
Well, almost.
She would leave the mixture
in the oven long enough
for the white to turn into
black inedible hate
waiting to be glazed
with honeyed vengeance.
She would never eat what she baked.
instead, she would serve the feast
in a silver platter and wait
until the soiled plates
were broken and the last crumbs
were licked off their stained fingers.
Then, she would wash her hands and--
walk away, smiling
at the sated heavings.
The guests would say she was gone,
though they didn't know where,
though they didn't know why
only that she always left.
What they also didn't know
was that,
like always after,
a little of her soul
would remain
and turn into
a pillar of salt. |
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posted by Rax @ 12:41 |
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| Monday, May 09, 2005 |
| A Butterfly's Effect |
You must find it
fascinating how--
moths are riveted
to the flickering pyre
you dangle
in between fingertips.
Its wings dance
alongside silent, gray tendrils
escaping your breath.
Circling around,
irrevocably drawn
to the sighs
that kiss your lips.
Saltine beads,
tease your temple,
then your cheekbone,
curving around your jaw.
A faint smile shows
your minute amusement
at how this creature
will leave a field of flowers
for the scent of sweat.
This drab cousin
of the butterfly,
craves attention
and will stay still
on your palm
staring up
in simple-minded wonder
at the meteor
about to burn
its wings. |
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posted by Rax @ 15:04 |
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| Tuesday, May 03, 2005 |
| Shade of my heart |
Argh. I'm in sentimental mode. According to the anime, Samurai Champloo, Sentimentality is an emotion discovered in the west to have plagued the female species. BWAHAHAHA. Anyhow I feel Ive been playing too much dungeons and dragons. harhar.
Shade of My Heart
Traveling barefoot has many a time
left me bruised and trembling
with scars and blisters bestowed
by the cracked earth and a nomad's hard luck.
I would not have fallen if not
for the dance of wolves snapping at my ankles
as I limped my way
toward the tree that was -
You. Of immobile roots,
unable to come closer to where I was, and
could only watch and wait as I crawled inch by inch
for a chance to sag against your trunk.
You wrapped me in the embrace of your shade
as I collapsed on the moss carpet at your feet
covering my heart and face from hunters
with spears made of shards from a broken promise.
Your leaves caught the wind to kiss my harrowed face,
the rain to wash the blood from my limbs
as I raised my lips to catch what little dew drops
could quench my parched tongue.
But the drumbeats of survival stirred me awake
when the light waned from its crescendo.
Pale sun meeting moon in silhouettes of dusk
means my journey must continue...
For your shade is not enough
to keep me from the eyes of basilisks
slithering in my dreams,
hiding in shadows within shadows.
Nor could your body shield me
from the frozen knife of the midnight wind,
ruthless even against your branches,
if caught cradling the soul it lusts after.
When blood slowly seeps across the sky
I will have gone where you can no longer follow,
for you are chained by the same roots
that held you back from my rescue.
But let this be a comfort -
I will run carried by the cool breeze you will send
to catch the smell of leaf and flower,
little vessels cupping your memory,
another shade of my heart |
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posted by Rax @ 13:51 |
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| Tuesday, April 12, 2005 |
| Trespassing |
I will let you go for now. I cannot help you this time around but I'll be waiting...
Trespassing
You left the lights on again...
I tread through
the floor that doubled
as your closet space,
carefully weaving
my way through the
empty coke bottles
and scratched CDs
you buy everyday.
My foot grazed
a stack of worn books
you taught me to read
and I tripped,
landing on the carpet
I took hours to pick
only to be patterned
by cigarette burns.
I lay still
staring at the
signed poster of
our favorite band
before pulling myself up
on the bedpost
you normally hung
the cap I gave you.
I sat on the bed
and stroked the stain
that you attempted
to get rid of
countless times
with bleach that
only ended up
wrinkling your hands.
I stood up
and approached
the switch,
longing to touch it,
remembering all the times
I disturbed your sleep
and begged you
to do it for me.
Instead I turned
and retraced my path,
resisting the urge
to leave a sign
of my trespass,
even if it was just
a simple act of
switching the lights off.
For you.
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posted by Rax @ 19:52 |
|
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| Chasing the equal sign |
"Love is a response to values. It is with a person's sense of life that one falls in love -- with that essential sum, that fundamental stand or way of facing existence, which is the essence of a personality. One falls in love with the embodiment of the values that formed a person's character, which are reflected in his widest goals or smallest gestures, which create the style of his soul -- the individual style of a unique, unrepeatable, irreplaceable consciousness. "
-Ayn Rand
Chasing the Equal Sign
We are two parallel lines
that meet while sitting down,
our foreheads touching
like the sides of a triangle.
We trade thoughts through
this illusion of an apex,
and I, in awe, notice
that there is precision
in the subtle ways
you hold my hand.
Your eyes dare me
with mathematical equations
that only have one right answer.
The angles of your mind
rest on black and white premises
that form a concrete
wall of syllogisms that
mock me every time
you speak my name.
You are undaunted and unabashed.
Even so, I smile
at all these numbers
streamlined to fit your life
knowing that this is the only time
I can meet your eyes
without having to calculate.
For when we stand,
our foreheads will no longer touch,
the triangle will shatter and we
revert back to parallel lines
that will never meet.
I am left to face the incongruence of it all. |
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posted by Rax @ 19:50 |
|
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| Scab(bed) |
Finally, I've started writing again. I hope the writer's block is gone for good. All I had to do was think of the tip of a pen. . . hehehe
Scab(bed)
Tap. Tap
goes the pen
aching
to flip over
and touch
the page.
held
back, back
by this bulwark
in my mind.
The ink in
turmoil
swirl, swirl
at the edges
insisting on being
heard just this once.
Scratch, scratch.
How slow it starts.
First a trickle -
of
thought
punctured by
rapid scrapes
that blot into -
pictures that
bleed, bleed
these words:
Shaking in delirious anticipation for the proverbial gasp of a full stop.
I fall
back, back
watching the wounds scab.
if
I'll
let
them
scab. |
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posted by Rax @ 19:46 |
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| Monday, March 07, 2005 |
| Drowning |
there is a dull throb
in my chest
as if underwater with
the bubbles slowly trickling
from my mouth
and never quite audible
are these screams
lodged in my throat
there is a furious beat
in my head
as if claustraphobic and barred
by lock and chain
and made from my imagination
is this freedom that swells
every time you turn your head
when i tiptoe outside your door
i saw you crook your finger
and again i'm pulled down deep
into these dark waters of madness
and i cannot scream still
the undertow stole my final breath
until my heart drops slowly
to that dull throb
i started out with. |
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posted by Rax @ 15:48 |
|
|
| Abraxas |
Abraxas, on a tv show said:
there were all sorts of
untruths us morals admit to
which can never really be labeled
as right or wrong
The minor demon explained:
"There are white lies, black lies
and many shades of gray lies."
Things we buy everyday
like canned goods at the convenience store.
and then I thought:
How about you? Would you be willing
to trade our solid ground of
unadulterated truth for sales talk
on the home shopping channel?
For the worth of one smile:
Abraxas' favorite expression -
a half grimace and half grin
would you break down the cement walls
for the excitement of a pitched tent?
If so:
I will ask Abraxas myself
to build us a new house
using the bricks he adverised -
ones made of white, black...
and the many pebbles of gray. |
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posted by Rax @ 15:40 |
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| Wednesday, February 23, 2005 |
| All mine |
Do you remember when
you spun my world
around your finger?
The half-truths I believed
to be whole
sustained my weight and yet
somehow that solid ground
crumbled and I start to remember
things that I never really had:
your love, your embrace, your secrets...
It's funny how I look back and
cannot say which part was actually real.
But let this be a comfort --
that I shall hang on to
that one tight-lipped kiss
that was definitely
all mine... |
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posted by Rax @ 22:23 |
|
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| knowing but not intervening... |
| About Me |
|
Name: Rax
Home: Makati, Philippines
About Me: I am many things: aspiring poet, advocate, lawyer, with a good grasp of reality. I am also passionate when it comes to chasing dreams. After all, a childlike imagination is just something I cannot outgrow. Which is why I write(...and refuse to give up anime, fantasy novels and video games... :P)
See my complete profile
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