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| Tuesday, May 11, 2004 |
| Absence |
You know that mixed feeling you have when you just break up with someone? It ranges from relief to anger and it's one of those feelings i hate since one can't exactly pinpoint which feeling it is. duh. so... all together now... (barney tone) i love u...u love me...we're a happy family...
Absence
Your absence is as
sweet as a captive dolphin's
release to the wild,
like the trophies you collected
in high school for your small triumphs.
It is as if watching a child's first day
in school, proud yet fearful.
It is as cold as my apartment
with its cement floors and bare walls,
like a kitchen that stunk from
a quick lift of the compost bucket lid,
It is the smell you could never get out
no matter how much antiseptic you used.
Your absence is as
efficient as algebra when it comes to
moving me about in sleep,
like the sound of a taxi's
unhinged door sliding in the gutter,
like a punctured gas tank
sparking toward explosion.
It is the feeling of an alcoholic vomiting
on sidewalks not knowing how to get home.
It is also the feeling of social workers
finding dead children in closets.
It is the happiness of dogs when they chase raccoons
and find that their noses, slashed, bled always
After.
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posted by Rax @ 17:32 |
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| Tuesday, May 04, 2004 |
| Sonnet IX |
I guess i'm in a sonnet phase. It's actually my favorite kind of formal poetry. My earlier ones have some shakespearean influence so, i'd rather not share them. This was the last sonnet i wrote. I don't think i'll be able to write new ones since sonnet involves 2 things i find difficult nowadays (since im so brain dead because of summer) 1) rhyming and 2) making sure that there are 10 syllables in each line. ghastly donchathink? actually im just making excusez for my lack of inspiration...
Sonnet IX
If I should give up and lose all my will
That want lay not on a bed of roses
That fear could get the better of me still
And in bliss he quietly reposes.
Power taken equals power given
Take he shall of what is rightfully his
And in all madness his spirit driven
I would come crashing down in all of this.
Where that I found peace in finality?
That I must shake my fists and cry in vain
For he bleeds with joy, I with agony
Of the gift I've given all made of pain.
Regret envelops what I have long claimed
His spirit exalted whilst mine is maimed.
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posted by Rax @ 02:21 |
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| Sonnet IV |
One of my sonnets. Maybe i should start sharing them from the 1st but i find the others corny. I wrote this for my crush back then (who is now my boyfriend) So don't despair kids, hard work does pay. Anyway, I'm sharing this since every poet has to share one of her unrequited love poems once in a while. hahaha. It was really hard getting 10 syllables in each line though.
Sonnet IV
A too familiar face seen in a dream,
A too ignored stranger roaming the street;
Part friend and part foe or so it may seem,
Who silently considers life's defeat.
A secret admirer walks by your side
Scaling the shore for any treasure sign.
Each stone overturned by the swelling tide,
Reflecting journeys through the sands of time.
Twas fate that she saw you a life time gone
Twas fate too that had kept you near but far
Two estranged friends having something and none,
Unaware of her love borne in a scar.
But death shall intervene emotion true
And fate brought her to a world without you. |
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posted by Rax @ 02:07 |
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| Nightmares |
Seems like a popular topic. Although some of the normal nightmares i have are the ones with the blood and blades, the worst ones i have are the ones that took place in real life and i have to relive those moments again and again. I wrote this back in 2001. I grabbed my notebook when i woke up from a nightmare and scribbled...
To wake up sobbing
from a vision replayed
so many times
in alarming succession.
To wake up screaming
about a vision replayed
so many more thoughts
to cloud the heart.
To wake up fearing
a vision replayed
so many more nights
of horror and tears.
To wake up longing
for a vision to stop
but still everytime it comes
when sleep dusts my eyes.
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posted by Rax @ 01:57 |
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| Saturday, May 01, 2004 |
| R18 |
As promised, I have decided to put in an R18 poem in here. This was just one of the things that popped into my head during one of my creative writing exercises. I had fun writing it. Hahahaha. Enjoy!
Tribute to women drivers
Late afternoons,
it is this time
that I, a woman
take my turn to ride
my husband's jeepney.
I hoist myself up
on the driver's side
then l o w e r my body
onto the seat and
swing my legs
inside.
My husband smiles and says:
"There, it's your turn."
I tentatively touch
the l o n g handle
of the gearshift, close my hand
around its head then
sharply
throw it in reverse.
Easing the vehicle onto the road
it isn't long before I am looking at the
long
hard
expanse
of the road ahead.
My shoulders strain my shirt
as my hands and body
completely maneuver
this sardine can on wheels
as it thrusts
through the gas-fumed streets.
At every stop, a passenger
slithers and squeezes
his or her way between
the wet
sleeves and mixed odors
of other passengers.
A man behind me rests his
big
hand on my shoulder:
"Para ho"
I grunt and snatch
the change on his palm.
It is not easy to do a man's job
toward the end of the day
I drop my last passenger off
and floor the accelerator,
speeding through empty streets
letting the wind cool my sweat.
And despite the aches
a sudden urge washes over me
to see my beloved.
I imagine him waiting
for me knowing that
I could never wait
to come to come god!
to c o m e
home. |
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posted by Rax @ 00:45 |
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| knowing but not intervening... |
| About Me |
|
Name: Rax
Home: Makati, Philippines
About Me: I am many things: aspiring poet, advocate, lawyer, with a good grasp of reality. I am also passionate when it comes to chasing dreams. After all, a childlike imagination is just something I cannot outgrow. Which is why I write(...and refuse to give up anime, fantasy novels and video games... :P)
See my complete profile
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