The Oracle: July 2004

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Lost

Here's another look into my subconscious...

...I was struggling in class... my English professor was teaching us origami...with PINK paper...yuck... Art was never my forte... And then there was an exam. Yes my crim pro prof was in the dream (hmmmm)... He gave us a 5 question exam... complete with illustrations... Clock ticks. Tocks. Ticks and Tocks... He suddenly announced 5 minutes left... i looked down at my paper... it was BLANK... i had written and answered nothing... gasp. shock. SHIT!... I begged him to give me more time... the hours dragged... It was 4pm... then it was 7pm... 9pm... tick... tock... i looked up at the clock... 2:30 am... i looked at the paper... it was still blank... sir was pacing the floor saying it was too late... i said wait... please... i begged... and then i ran downstairs... (the setting had turned into a house)...i crouched under the staircase and began writing furiously... it was hard to see... it was dark... the only light coming from upstairs...

I met up with my classmates... People from law school... we were going to a party... I was looking forward to it...

It was evening, there were a lot of japanese lanterns in the garden... people laughing and partying. It really was fun... Then my friends decided to go to another house and watch some movies. I said i'd stay... I'll finish the beer... and maybe catch up later... the party goes on... time dragged on... some of the others were leaving... i decided to hitch a ride to catch up with my friends who left earlier...

We were on the highway... and then i saw my friends coming from the other direction... i asked the driver to stop... so i got off... it turns out my friends were going back to the party... So i decided to go back as well... I rode a jeep... I saw the highways and the skyscrapers... i got off in the middle of an abandoned road... I walked... and walked... and walked... and suddenly... i only had one shoe... and there were a lot of puddles of mud in the street... i walked... splashed... walked... and then i realized i was LOST... I racked my brain trying to remember the address of my friends house... BLANK... AGAIN... I walked further... splashed further... I didn't know where i was going and i couldn't even hail a cab since i didn't know the address...

I decided to take some shortcuts through some squatters area... I walked in the narrow maze of cardboard shanties... i turned left... i turned right... i peeked into some of the homes... there was no EXIT... Suddently i was stuck in the maze... the walls close in... the path choking off to dead ends... I couldn't find the way OUT...

Then i met this man. Sitting on a wooden crate... he pointed at a treasure chest... he said i should find the key and save the world... and myself... I thought maybe i could find my way home...maybe... So i looked... i walked... i splashed... i turned around and around... looking for my shoe, the exit, the key, the way home... And then i saw the key!! It was on a leather string... but it wasn't an ordinary key... It had a needle in it... So i went to the chest... It FIT!... so i opened it... and found...

A box full of liquid medicine. Cough syrups, anti-asthma syrups... all kinds... i said to the old man... how is this supposed to get me home? He laughed and didn't answer me... He just laughed and laughed... The walls closed in...

I woke up. (Never found my way after all)

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posted by Rax @ 14:57

Thursday, July 22, 2004

I'm a tool am i????

Ok this is starting to scare me... am i that cold and unsociable?... hmmm... yeah probably. But i disagree that i'm completely unfunny... I have my moments... when i feel like it... not everything that comes out of my mouth is dry and sarcastic... at least i like to think so... hehehe. here, take this test, see how u fare...

Wackiness: 34/100
Rationality: 72/100
Constructiveness: 38/100
Leadership: 48/100

You are an SRDF--Sober Rational Destructive Follower. This makes you a fount of knowledge. You are cool, analytical, intelligent and completely unfunny. Sometimes you slice through conversation with a cutting observation that causes silence and sidelong glances. You make a strong and lasting impression on everyone you meet, the quality of which depends more on their personality than yours.

You may feel persecuted, as you can become a target for fun. Still, you are focused enough on your work and secure enough in your abilities not to worry overly.

You are productive and invaluable to those you work for. You are loyal, steadfast, and conscientious. Your grooming is impeccable. You are in good shape.

You are kind of a tool, but you get things done. You are probably a week away from snapping.

Addendum, 2004/07/19: this fits me 99%, there is a slight inaccuracy however. We are not necessarily completely unfunny. If we have a sense of humor (I do) it surfaces on the occasion with well-timed, completely dry, very sarcastic, wit. - Chase

... addendum affirmed

This test was referred to me by The Paradox.

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posted by Rax @ 05:05

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Tightrope (Translation of Gensoumaden Saiyuki Ending theme)

So, we go on refining life like an ever-sharpened knife
And our faces are reflected on the back of a windowpane
Now the target's set as me if my weaknesses they see
it will come to haunt me once again
With that pressure hemming in on you from on every other side
We smile just like the other folks but with a lot more pride
Oh, I'm sure no matter who you are, it always stays the same
I must fight against myself

So, such an angelic face now coming down the road
Unable to foretell sudden tragedy will unfold
With never a sound With nary a cry I look up to the blue sky
And now keep acting out the roles you have in any scene you play
Before you talk of dreams or hope in any other way
Oh, I'm sure no matter who you are, it always stays the same
You must fight against yourself

With pressure hemming in on you from on every other side
We smile just like the other folks but with a lot more pride
Oh, I'm sure no matter who you are, it always stays the same
I must fight against myself
Oh, I'm sure no matter who you are, it always stays the same
You must fight against yourself

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posted by Rax @ 23:42

Far-off distance (English translation of Naruto opening theme)

Hit the gas! There's no need to finagle, oh yeah!
We'll go all through the night.
I'll complain at the end, the balance is zero, oh yeah!
We'll whittle the days away...

When you open your heart a little, and pull someone close to you,
Your feelings will surely reach them deeper, yeah...

Hurry it up! Wring it out!
Though my legs are all tangled, they will surely take me far...

Even if I steal it and manage to grasp it,
If it isn't you, then what's the point?

So I'll go further and further away!

Hit the gas! There's no need to finagle, oh yeah!
We'll go all through the night.
I'll complain at the end, the balance is zero, oh yeah!
We'll whittle the days away...

When you open your heart a little, and pull someone close to you,
Your feelings will surely reach them deeper, yeah...

Hurry it up! Wring it out!
Though my legs are all tangled, they will surely take me far...

Even if I steal it and manage to grasp it,
If it isn't you, then what's the point?

So I'll go far into the distance...

Your world will become a thing of deceit
painted all in white...

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posted by Rax @ 23:37

Thursday, July 08, 2004

what's in my head?

had another dream... just bits and pieces... but the gory details stick out somewhat.

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I was running from something...don't remember from what exactly but it wasn't something scary... just needed an escape...

so i got on a bus... met some people... took pictures of them... i asked them to take mine... it was fun... i was sightseeing... the landscape blurred past and it was a very peaceful...

then i got off at a town... and i was with some friends... i don't remember who exactly...we rode a tricycle... one that was see-through... "for tourists" it said on the side... *sigh*... nice architecture... nice streets... nice man with balloons...

guy with a butcher knife appeared suddenly... he was sitting in the middle of the road with his legs spread out... yes, sitting... didn't see him run... he was just THERE...

we swerved to avoid him... weird... i was curious... so i looked back... and he raised the butcher knife high above his head... *gasp*... and he brought it down on his outstretched leg... *chop*... i hear flesh... *chop* again... i hear bone... *chop*... i see blood

Suddenly i was running... i don't know what happened to my companions... just needed to run... just needed to... stop... breathe... gasp... breathe... spit... another familiar face came up to me... i felt at peace again... she smiled...

"whatcha doin here? Didn't know you were comin to visit," she said

i couldn't answer...i was breathing hard...(all that running, you see)... so i just pointed behind me...apparently she understood... she laughed...

"everyone's like that here..."

EVERYONE

"some can't accept that they're already dead..."

"...and so they try to kill themselves again"

EVERYONE...EVERYONE...EVERYONE... my head chanted the words, as if i couldn't understand her...maybe it was too much for me...

she shook her head and looked at me funny... she laughed again... she reached out and grabbed my camera (the one i was taking pictures on the bus with)

"Yeah, everyone. you too, ya know... let's see..." She stopped and took the film out... held it up... Yeah, here it is."

"YOU DIED RIGHT AFTER THIS 10TH SHOT WAS TAKEN"

..."yup...yup" and she tossed the film right back at me... I caught it and looked...

...it was in color...the people... the red bus seats... my yellow shirt... funny... i had makeup on... blush and lipstick to be exact...yes... it's bright pink...

but my face... it was gray...
and my eyes... it was pure black... no light reflected... just black

funny... and so i just thought... YES i'm DEAD... and nodded...yes, after all, i AM... yes...

I turned around and asked my friend if she wanted to have coffee with me. She said yes...

AND THAT'S JUST WHAT WE DID.
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I woke up...

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posted by Rax @ 23:18

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Ang Unang Pag-ibig na Sikreto by Adrian Furing

Here's a little something my good friend/poet/songwriter wrote. i hope you guys enjoy his work. I am very proud of him so I might publish more of his work here (with his permission of course).

Ang Unang Pag-ibig na Sikreto (June 30, 2004)

isang mapusyaw na hapon at pula ang langit
nag-aagaw tingin ang liwanag sa dilim
sumasayaw ang luntian sa himig ng hangin
naupo ako, yakap ang lamig na naglalambing

waring inuukit ng mga kutitap ang anyo ng hangin
kasabay ang musika ng ritmong ligaw
hinayaan ko silang maglayas mag-isa
sa maingat kong paghinga habang ako'y kinukubli
ng lilim na hindi ko kilala

hindi ko sasabihin sa iyo ang tunay na nakikita ko

may luha akong dahilan upang hindi sambitin
aaminin ko ang nakalutang sa mata kong lihim
at ngingiti sa akin ang mga bituin
sa init nito'y mapapatag ang mundo ko

namutawi sa isipan ko ang bughaw na dagat
sakaling kumupit ng piraso, itanim ko dito
bumaklas ang ugat, mundong mabigat
mga dahon sa aking hiraya
maaagnas ako, ni-sa panaginip hindi ko hahalikan

magkabilaan ang ating mundo

nag-uutos ang dilim at umiiyak na rin langit sa aking piling
baka luto na ang sinungkit na ulam sa inaanay kong paa
gusto kong umuwi pero wala ito sa aking mga isinaisip
maglalako na lang ako ng baraha sa piyesta ng pamaypay

ikaw ay hindi magiging ako

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posted by Rax @ 00:15

knowing but not intervening...

About Me

Name: Rax
Home: Makati, Philippines
About Me: I am many things: aspiring poet, advocate, lawyer, with a good grasp of reality. I am also passionate when it comes to chasing dreams. After all, a childlike imagination is just something I cannot outgrow. Which is why I write(...and refuse to give up anime, fantasy novels and video games... :P)
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Unguarded Utterance